Month: January 2015

Me and Debbie.

Throwback Thursdays: The Joseph Audition.

A few nights ago we watched the musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  If you aren’t familiar with my stage career in high school then you are fortunate.  I was in all the plays.  One audition stays with me to this day. I don’t know what I am saying, they all stay with me.  A few that randomly come to mind are “the really bad singing incident in 1988” and “the dance crash of 1993.” However, none of them trump my audition for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Debbie I am so sorry.  (All names have not been changed.) I sort of forget some of it.  January 15th, 1989.  It was cold that day, real cold.  The kind of cold that sticks with you and changes you forever. The time was 4:04 pm. The 798 red velvet clad seats in the auditorium held 237 people that day.  I wore acid washed tapered jeans that buttoned just under my rib cage and a purple v-neck sweater with pink turtleneck.  I cannot recall if my white Keds had …

www.sfgirlbybay.com

Smoke and Mirrors Part 2. Statement Pieces

Did you read Smoke and Mirrors Part 1?  If you missed it you can read it here.  Real life is messy.  Distract people from the chaotic mess in your rooms with a statement piece aka smoke and mirrors. Love the bench with the E A T pillows.  No one will notice the fact that there are piles and dishes all over your table.  (The team of 12 that styled this picture shoved all of it in the hallway.) The big “a” dwarfs any mess–and trumps dishes overflowing in sink. The whole room could possibly be purchased from garage sales but who cares when the Coca Cola sign is so cool. No one will be able to see anything negative about your house–blinded they will be by this gorgeousness. Couches are completely stained and covered in dog hair but you are thinking “What Couches?”  All you see is the art. Christmas decorations are probably still up in May but whatever–this green dresser and wallpaper rock. House is filthy but good things are going to happen because …

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Smoke and Mirrors Part 1

I am on a moving walkway at the airport walking in the wrong direction with wheelless oversized luggage carrying a toddler with a banana, while wearing stilettos.  Not really, but really.  Today I have a head cold.  My children got me sick for the 800th time this year.  I get better, they get sick, they get better, I get sick, I get better, they get sick…when we aren’t doing this fun exchange there is the snow that renders every road in Washington DC impassable resulting in school delays and closures and more time together in my house. As I was saying, it is snowing outside, rumor of early release from school, and a head cold, but that is ok because I just picked up my whole house.  I mean it is GOOOOOOD.  Piles gone.  Dishes done.  Beds made.  Clean.  Filed. Shiney. Did you hear me?  Totally ready to go. Immaculate. So naturally today my landlord decides today is the day that the ceiling will be cut out of my living room and dry wall replaced.  Saws, …

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Airstream Camping

  I’m not outdoorsy.  I like to be outdoors.  Then I like to come inside and take a shower.  Or just look out the window.  My husband likes to camp.  He likes the woods. I have a problem with the woods.  In my opinion, it is where people fleeing from prison go. I am from Detroit.  You don’t camp if you are from Detroit.  Yes, I generalize but whatever. If I want to get away and relax I don’t want to cook or clean.  Cooking and cleaning do not equal relaxing. Listening for a twig snapping because you are about to be attacked by either the prison people or bears equals–no relax.  Then there is this whole mesh/nylon issue (the stuff made out of tents or those pop out things on campers.)  Yeah, that will keep us safe.  The Dingo Ate My Baby (aka that movie with Meryl Streep in the Outback and the dingo), Deliverance, True Detectives, Dateline— all full of factual information to back up my opinions. So my husband thinks a camper …

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Puke is My Kryptonite

  I’m a puke panicker.  I FREAK out during puke events.  It’s like my kryptonite.  My oldest son doesn’t do puke receptacles–you know like buckets and toilets.  He prefers to shock his mother.  There was the time he had the norovirus (while my husband was deployed) and he threw up while walking up the stairs.  The carpeted stairs.  Like, he nailed every single stair.  It’s important to note that there was a bathroom at the bottom of the stairs and a bathroom at the top of the stairs, the-stairs-that-were-carpeted.  Then there was the time he threw up in his sleep–on an angle with projection.  Or the time he threw up on our friends, or another time on our friend’s mother.  Oh, then there was Syracuse.  He puked the whole way–car seat, no bucket, no paper towels, 10 hours in snow storm, pregnant and morning sick.  I had to use the clothes out of our luggage to absorb it out of survival.  Fond memories of standing in McDonald’s parking lot off I-81 with coffee stirrers and napkins …

The Lincoln Awards at The Kennedy Center, Washington, DC

Seat Filling at the Lincoln Awards Recognizing Military…and Tina Fey

  I really wanted to follow up on I Am A White House Christmas Decorator with a fun post about how I was asked to be a seat filler for The Lincoln Awards-A Concert for Veterans & the Military Family at The Kennedy Center last Wednesday and call it something snappy, like, I Am A Kennedy Center Seat Filler.  This concert was a televised event to recognize those who have helped and supported our military in a big and awesome way and I was really excited to be there. I pictured myself rushing in between set changes to fill vacant seats next to Bruce Springsteen, Jerry Lewis, and Gavin DeGraw’s plus one as they took the stage.  I imagined passing Miss America or Nick Jonas in a frenzy of activity as I desperately tried to make it to their seats before the cameras started rolling. I mentally practiced looking dignified for my big close up. Maybe I would be caught on camera in Brian William’s clan and people would wonder if I was the sister to …

States I Have Known.

Military Moves

We aren’t like most military families.  They move more than we do.  And most have had at least one overseas tour, if not more.  On paper I am jealous of them. But the reality is something different.  Logistical hell.  New schools, houses that need to be sold, niches that need to be found, packing, unpacking, saying good-bye…and that doesn’t even begin to address moving to another country (cars with the steering wheel on the wrong side, pets that need to go into 6 month quarantine, and the new washing machine you just bought that the military won’t ship).  But still, how boring to let all that stop you?  Trying new places, lands, and cultures changes people.  It broadens perspective and teaches new ways to measure quality of life.  On the other hand packing and unpacking and dealing with all the red tape can and may kill you… So on a third hand, I really want to live in France for a year.  I really want to try New England.  I wish I could have lived on the …

IMAGE: IMGUR, CULTCULTUREE

Really?

Today I am taking down my Christmas decorations.  Between the flu, house guests, the weather, school delays, snow days, and virtual exhaustion this idea above is looking pretty darn good, albeit weird.  And then there is the fact that my tree is real…

Carmel, California

Wish List. Cottages I Covet.

New Year’s Resolution.  Be very specific about what I want. Dear Universe, I will take one of these please.  Thank you.  Jen   If you liked this post then you will just love: Teeny Tiny Cottages, and Cottage Love