The day was hot. The shopping cart was full. The car was far.
And so begins my tale of a shopping trip gone wrong.
The setting is inside a Target located in a chic urban downtown city center.
The Target is located on the 4th floor with an adjacent parking garage.
My friend, Mony, and I chose to park somewhere else. And then proceeded to Target to shop for everything back to school related. When we could fit nothing more into our cart we paid for our purchases and realized upon exiting that our car was not outside the door. It was blocks away.
We push the cart to the car I say. No you move the car she says. No traffic is a mess I say. So down we go in the elevator to the street level.
As we attempt to exit Mony sees a sign that says the wheels will lock if we exit the building. I tell her to push fast. Speed will override the system.
No. No it did not.
What happens next can only be described as shopping cart death.
One would like to point out that a plastic shopping cart with wheels that don’t turn should not be too big of a problem. We have all used carts with a bum wheel or a high pitched squeak.
No. No. No, I say. This was not the same.
The shopping cart died that day. The wheels seized up and invisible quick sand engulfed the cart. Large cement cinder blocks descended onto our cart and I’m pretty sure molasses and super glue started pouring out of the deflated wheels. And then when all that was complete we tried to push.
Somehow we made it 2 feet. We only had another 15 feet to go–an elevator to get on and off–another say 25 feet over carpet and then we would make it to the parking garage–where our car wasn’t.
This. Was. Awesome.
At such point the laughing kicked in. Through tears, stomach cramps, us both pushing, pulling, and at one point I was almost horizontal behind the cart pushing and Mony was pulling in front as if she was in a cartoon being chased down by Looney Tunes characters.
People offered to help us.
Someone said they could get someone from Target.
Another lady asked if we were ok.
No we’re not ok. Mony asked why we couldn’t have a normal life? I asked if my hair looked ok because I was sure we were on Candid Camera. And then somehow we made it to the parking garage 4 floors up about 5 hours later.
As I left her standing there alone with the
stubborn pack mule cart I told her not to go anywhere and left to get the car. As I walked away I could still hear her laughing and I’m pretty sure the cart was too (at us).